Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's my orgy and she'll come if I want to!

You know, one of the most irritating phrases in online dating is "BBW".

I'm not saying BEING a "Big Beautiful Woman" is a bad thing, I just HATE that phrase. Particularly when a woman feel compelled to use it because she's 20-30 lbs overweight.
You're not BBW, you're PW: "Pleasantly Plump Woman", or as those outside of Hollywood would consider "normal weight."

The reasoning for this little rant against BBW (the phrase, not the women), is that I recently received a letter from a woman asking if BBW's are "Welcome." Not to be discriminatory towards those that are overly obese, I requested a picture. Let's face it, Ugly comes in all weight classes. No matter the fact that a guy is guaranteed he's going to get laid, if someone some jacked up teeth, no man is going to let their cock on any end of that....

Anyway, the photo that greeted me a few minutes later was of an attractive older woman that seemed to be only relatively few modest pounds overweight. When we talked on the phone a few minutes later, she confessed that her age was a bit older (upper 40's) and that she was concerned that she wouldn't be welcome in a situation.

RUBBISH! A woman will be more than welcome if she is older or is a bit PPW. IF the guys that are there don't want to touch her, then not only will they not be asked for future parties, but will more than likely requested that they leave.

To prove my point I said to her, "Look, I'll be the first one on your ass to lick you and fuck it and that is all there is to it! If the other guys don't want that, then I'll be drilling you the entire time!"

The fact that she broke out in gales of laughter helped break any worries and committed to going.

She was also concerned that she would be the only BBW or older woman there and that I mentioned that she won't be and mentioned that my Ex Girlfriend's best friend will be there.

Silence.

"Hello, Are you there SD?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You are the bravest man on the planet or the biggest fool.....How.."

I gave her a BS answer and then changed the subject for a few before I had to leave.


Yes, my Ex girlfriend's (Sometimes lover) best friend is going to be there. She was interested in watching the Gangbang AND the Bi Party.

Did I forget to mention that? I guess so.

It started a few months ago when I went to entertain my XGF, while I was laying in bed with her (fully clothed) , she (now known as..."L" (Because I don't know her name)), was making a nuisance of herself by not leaving and BSing with her and me.

Anyway, trying to cheer up XBF, I invited her to both parties and casually mentioned that "L" would go. I told her (half in jest), tell her and give my number and she can go.
The rest of the conversation was "Blah blah blah" and immediately forgot about the whole thing.

Four days later I got a call from "L" wanting to know the details and promptly gave them to her.
An HOUR after THAT phonecall, "XBF" called and said "You do know you two are off limits to each other, right?"

"Scout's Honor."
"You were never a scout."
"So?"
"Try better."
"I swear on the bible"
"You're agnostic."
"Swear on my mother's grave?"
"She's still alive."
"Knock on wood?"
"You're not talking about knocking her with YOUR wood, are you?"
"No, but clever."
"Just don't want to know about it."

Oh yeah, this party should be interesting.

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