Here I am at home, minding my own business, when a random person comes knocking on my yahoo.*
We struck up a conversation and asked if I was still with a local Gang Bang group.  I told him that I severed ties with them years earlier due to a difference in philosophy.
Yeah, it was fucked up.
Whatever.
Then for some particular reason, he started asking about me and what I do and what I like to do. 
After getting sick of the bad innuendo and metaphors, I asked him to just speak what he's saying.

"I want to be forcibly mouth fucked by men", he eventually said.
The cursor simply blinked at me and I was at a complete loss as to what to say.
"So you're bi?"
"No. I'm straight, I just like being treated like a little bitch."
Sitting there for a few minutes my mind raced.
"Well, I can't really help you, I'm straight."
After a fairly lengthy pause, he almost begged.

Then a little twitch formed on the corner of my mouth.

"What do you want?"

After a few questions, things were a bit ironed out.

Scrolling down my contact list, I come up to my old friend.

"HEY, Katy!"
"Hey yourself! How're you doing?"
"Wanna party?" The tone of my voice must have gotten her a bit on the nervous side.
"umm...sure?"

I quickly explain the details and hatch a plan.  Katy's quite enthused, but she asked one thing.

"Is FF coming?"
"I'm going to talk to her about it and see."
"If she's going to go, I'm down with that. See ya!"

We said a few more things and eventually hang up...
an hour or so later, I look up FF's name and hit her number....




*Literally. My IM. It wasn't a metaphor.