Monday, December 7, 2009

In the land of Cheese and Lakes.....

Yes.
The day has finally arrived. 
I hate flying.
Really.  The bumpy ride did little for my nerves and wished I was drunk, but I knew my 2+ hours of terror would soon be over...one way or another.

The plane landed Thursday afternoon in Milwaukee, WI and headed straight to the car rental.


The straight-faced and unenthusiastic Hertz clerk looked at my info and handed me some keys after I refused most of the nice little perks that they offered to me.


"Does it have XM?"
"Umm...no."
"I want one with XM."
"That'll be extra."

Driving across a state without a reliable source of tunes was out of the question.


"Fine."


He adds the appropriate amount to my card and hands me the keys.
A KIA Sportage.


"Are you serious?"
"It's all we have with an XM radio."
"You don't have an actual CAR with it?"
"Nope. Sorry."  He said without even glancing at the rows upon rows of keys behind him.


Making my way to the assigned spot, I climbed in, started it up and headed to the highway, immediately disappointed by the lack of smoothness or acceleration.
I threw on my electronic equipment and plugged in my accessories.


Then I noticed that the power outlet wasn't working.


I started cursing.
My phone was crying for help and I was 5 miles from the airport.

Ignoring the messages from Starfish, I continued to curse and looked for a place to pull over to gather my thoughts.


Rummaging through the Vehicle of the Damned, I find another power outlet in the back.  Since it practically makes using my phone and the navigation useless, I immediately start looking for another hertz rental in the area.  
As I sit there arguing with a rep, I look around further and find a USB port.

WTF?

On a hunch, while still arguing on the phone, I plug in the Jawbone charger into it.

IT WORKS!



Hung up on the rep and immediately looked for a Best Buy and made a bee-line straight for it. 
After making the appropriate purchase, I plug my phone in and I'm return to my happy place.


I could have sworn I heard my phone sigh in relief. 


There was some business I had to attend to before the party and I had less than 40 hours to get to check into TWO hotel rooms in TWO different cities and two different STATES driving 500+ miles.


Starfish was keeping track of my progress across the state on Latitude with my GPS in near real time and texted little comments.
I ignored most of them because I was too busy driving within an inch of my life.  The Sportage characteristics made it so I had to put in quite a bit of concentration into driving the wet roads and maintaining proper speed.


my phone chriped and looked at the message:
"OH SHIT! You're already past Madison? You're hauling ass!" 


I send a small number of replies, but continued to focus on driving. 


Arriving in the small town of Sparta, WI and drive up to a small hotel and curse silently as I see another couple beat me to the counter by 30 seconds. 
They took FOREVER to check in while they were debating on which room to get due to the $10 price difference.  The poor clerk on duty looked her damnedest that she would not kill these two.

Hell, I would have offered to dispose the bodies if it came to it. 



After they had left, I got my papers signed and keys handed to me within 2 minutes. 
Moving the POS to the indicated portion of the parking lot, slide into next to the two bodies that delayed me.


I eyed them as they walked in.  Some foolery was in order, I'm sure. 

Long story short, I made it to my room, talked to Starfish for a few minutes and was out by 9pm.



My eyes popped open and I couldn't breathe and was coughing and sneezing.
Oh, No!

It was 1:30am and I needed to be up in only a few more hours. 

Looking up the nearest pharmacy, I trudged towards my POS, started the engine and realized that the parking space next to me was empty.
My instincts were right.  They were just there for some sex.
Whatever.
I drove up to Walgreens realize it was NOT a 24hr one and had to settle for some convenience store nearby and grabbed some nyquil, ran home and died at about 3am.

The phone rang.
Actually, it was taunting me.  
7 am got here way too early, but I had to get up and do a little more driving and get work done  while we Starfish and I chatted.
The problem with making a fairly rigid schedule that is secret, is that the person you're dealing with won't always go by YOUR schedule.

At 2pm, I was supposed to be leaving and having a casual drive and dinner at my new destination.

What REALLY happened was that it was 5pm and I was running towards the car like a grand prix Le Man's racer. 

We were supposed to have a nice rendezvous and have a casual dinner.
That's not going to happen.

I quickly talk to her and I'm on the road speeding towards my destination.  
On Lattitude, she wonders what route I was going to take and I told her.

"Oh no, sweetie, take THIS route" and gives me the following instructions.
This was her territory, so I had to trust her judgment, and I follow up by telling her to post another ad on the region CL's since none of the men that I have talked to previously had contacted me. 


Looking at my GPS I wonder if she was secretly out to kill me. It LOOKED like a direct route, but I could tell it was going to be murderous if I let my concentration lapses on this small 2-lane road. I break off communication with her, to talk to FF, but the connections are horrid on this route, which didn't surprise me.


Most cell providers concentrate their towers along major highways.
I felt like I was traveling on something a bit better than a game trail.  Deer jumping over my car did little to settle my nerves.
10:30 was the time as I arrived at a charming little hotel that she selected for me to book.
The check in process was merciful in it's speed.

I was dying, but I was pleasantly surprised on how the room was, so I took a couple of pics to show the room to give a bit of perspective on the before and after.
 

Updating on the number of men that have responded on the "new" ad wasn't too surprising, seems like 8 or so had responded in the two or so hours that it had been up.

We continued talking as I threw down the bags, we got undressed, jumped in bed, embraced, kissed deeply, and....


...slept.  

I was exhausted.




Starfish will post her view on it sooon....I hope.  the other half of the weekend will be done by the end of this week....maybe.

2 comments:

Reformed Slut said...

Come on Starfish...your turn!!!

Aurore said...

That sounds like a lot of drama - where's the good stuff ;)