Friday, December 12, 2008

Bizarre 24 hours.

The day started out with quite a bit of promise, yet at the time I am currently writing this at 5am, is because it is amazing on how odd the turns in the world of craig's list can go.
Waking up early (for me) at 8am, I tumble out of bed and start running errands in preparation for tomorrows party.  I check my email briefly..nada.
Great.
Aside from a slight interlude in my day for a date that is related to this.
After I left, I had gotten an email for the ad. 
"I'm a tranny, can I come to watch?"
WTF?
Giving her (what DO you call a pre-op tranny?) my number , we talked for a bit, turns out she had already had the boob implants, and by looking at the pictures, she was cute. 
I allowed it, but warned her that if the guys aren't comfortable, she might have to leave.  She was cool with that and was pleased that we had the conversation..
awesome.  Never had one at a party, so this should be interesting, especially if she joins in.

Now I come to a girl that bailed out on me for last week's party.
I get an email at 3am asking where I was because she wanted to have some screw.
Since I was relatively close (and on my way home), I told her I could be there in 30 minutes.
Arriving to a modest apartment complex on the north side, I arrived at her apartment number and saw her through the gap substantial gap in her window shades.   The visual was interesting; somewhat larger woman, sitting on the couch watching a porn movie.
No wonder she was horny!
Lightly knocking, I was wondering what I was getting myself into.
She must have teleported to the door because it opened almost instantly.
My ears caught a buzzing sound, but I couldn't quite place it, until I saw her walking off towards the couch and spotted a cord coming up from under her the hem of the dress she was wearing to her hands.
Vibrating egg.  Gotcha.
She then plopped herself back down on the couch and motioned for me to suck on her breasts.   Not a man to waste an opportunity and proceeded to lightly lick her nipples.  Getting closer to her neck, I the fragrance of alcohol permeating through her skin.
Aw shit!  This either can go REALLY well or turn out REALLY bad!
We fooled around a bit, when she turned over and leaned over the arm of the couch and pointed to the table.
"My vibrator is over there."
Getting the vibrator, I proceeded to tease her with it as well as putting little kisses on her ass.
"Will you hurry up and push it in?"
O.K.
I followed her instructions and right when her breathing was getting more rapid I encouraged her to cum.
"Will you shut up? You're throwing me off."
Man! this lady was pushy!
I continued for a couple of minutes until my arm got tired of the odd position and stopped.
"You were doing it wrong anyway."

Now, just to let you know, this WAS our entire conversation other than the typical "HI."   I'm getting no cues, from her, nothing.  She's a tough read. Then the next sentence totally threw my game.

"Why didn't you fuck me when I was bent over?"
"Umm..because you didn't say so?  I figured you wanted to just use the vibrator."

By this time we were back to sitting on the couch, sans dress and encourages me to suck her nipples again.
I gave it a try for a bit, then I noticed her breathing was steady.
She was asleep!
Looking at my watch, it was almost 5am!
I zipped myself back up and walked out.   Before I had even reached the car, I deleted her text msgs, her phone number, and craved a shower.

Oh, to top it all off, my buddy "PAT" isn't going to make it. 
This night has the potential of some serious suckage.

Maybe I'll try my hand at birdwatching as a hobby.

1 comment:

Reformed Slut said...

OMG! What is it with the barking orders thing! I could never bring myself to do that! LOL I think a more subtle approach is sexier. Anyways, that is fuckin hilarious the bitch fell asleep on you!